Friday, 15 June 2012

WWE No Way Out - Betting Guide

Disclaimer - Only gamble if it's legal for you to do so and your wife doesn't mind you losing the kids college fund. These are novelty predictions for novelty bets, I take no responsibility if you lose as a result of following my sage advice. All odds subject to change.

So what would have happened if you followed last months guide? You'd have cleaned up by only backing Big Johnny, another victory for people power!


This is one of the most unpredictable shows in some time so bet with caution

John Cena 4/6 vs The Big Show 11/10
It seems built for a Cena victory but I'm not so sure.
Remember when cage matches were supposed to stop outside interference? Well that's not the case these days and the stipulations make it near certain that Big Johnny will interfere, maybe Vince too.
If Big Johnny loses he's fired which causes a dilemma, will WWE really get rid of him at this point or will they wait to a bigger occasion like the 1000th episode or Summerslam? There was a news story of questionable credibility claiming that suggesting an upcoming change of job title for Johnny so he may lose but effectively retain his position.


Sheamus 1/3 vs Dolph Ziggler 2/1
Surely Sheamus has to win as Dolph is a last minute addition to the feud?
However many top stars are injured or suspended so it may be the prefect time to give Dolph a chance. Especially if he wins with the help of Mason Ryan. Whatever happens I think it result in a change or Direction for Ziggler

Christian 4/6 vs Cody Rhodes11/10
Without having seen Smackdown I'll say Christian is more likely to emerge victorious.

Layla 8/11 vs Beth Phoenix Evens
They won't take the belt of Layla already will they?

CM Punk 9/11 vs Daniel Bryan 2/1 vs Kane 7/2
This one is perhaps the most unpredictable as it will probably all comes down to AJ's actions.
I think Daniel Bryan and AJ are secretly back together and Bryan is using AJ to get under Kane and Punk's skin, I expect AJ will make Kane show some humanity, cause the distraction and somehow enable Daniel Bryan to win.
Surely Punk is coming to the end of his impressive reign as he's running out of opponents but will he drop the title now or at Summerslam?

Conclusion: It's a tricky one, it may even be worth sitting this one out. However I'd say do a number of small doubles using Sheamus as your banker. Maybe Sheamus and Bryan, Sheamus and Big Show and Sheamus, Christian and Layla.
Just hope that Sheamus wins!




Wednesday, 16 May 2012

WWE betting - Over the limit

Paddy Power are taking bets on Over the limit, here's my guide to the betting.
Disclaimer: For entertainment purposes only, I lost due to betting on Lesnar last month, I can take no responsibly on your inevitable loss and subsequent selling of your family home.


Betting on wrestling still seems strange, I'm not even sure it's a good idea due to the high number of swerves and unclean finishes. I can almost guarantee that this PPV will have at least one match decided by a run-in.


All odds from Wednesday morning, they will change

World Heavyweight championship
Sheamus 5/4
Alberto Del Rio 11/5
Randy Orton 10/3
Chris Jericho 7/2

Verdict - Sheamus seems favourite and for good reason, however his latest title run has been far from spectacular so I'd place a small wager on Orton.

Pre-Show
Zack Ryder 11/4
Kane 2/9

Verdict: I wouldn't bother betting on this one, however as this is on youtube there is some value to be had with Ryder as WWE may want a face to win.

Cena vs Johnny
John Cena 5/6
John Laurinaitis 5/6

Verdict - People power!
Put big money on big Johnny as it seems likely that Big Show will interfere on his behalf. There's even a chance Brock will attack Cena. Even Cena will struggle to overcome these odds.



Tag Team Championship
Kofi Kingston & R-Truth 4/9
Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler 13/8

Verdict - Kofi and Truth seem a safe bet at first glance but Mason Ryan has been acting as Ziggler's bodyguard at house shows.
As Abe has be trying to sign Ryan it would be an interesting swerve if Vickie signs him first.

WWE Championship

CM Punk 4/7
Daniel Bryan5/4

Verdict - Once again there's an x-factor, this time in the appealing form of AJ. She's clearly crazy and is likely to get involved but the question is who would she try and help?
I wouldn't bet on Punk but Bryan would be a good outside bet.


Divas Championship
Layla 5/6
Beth Phoenix 5/6

Verdict - No idea, Layla is just back though so I'd go for her

Conclusion - I'd forget the other matches and just back Laurinaitis.
However Orton, Ryder and Bryan are good outside bets.

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Worst Wrestling Shirts Ever?


There's yet another unofficial t-shirt store opened (that redbubble one is still the best) that has started selling what they think are the worst wrestling shirts ever.


Personally I think they are being a little hard on themselves, sure the Sheamus "18 seconds one" is awful and nobody wants a "Bork Lesnar" shirt but I actually like the Chris Jericho inspired "Armbar!" & Ask Him!" shirts, the green mist one is cool and even "Rice Flair" isn't too bad.


The thing is they have an excuse, I'm guessing it's one geek in their bedroom trying to earn some extra cash but WWE are wrestling empire with a huge department dedicated to making and producing merchandise but still these managed to get through Focus Groups.



You can almost imagine Vince McMahon stating that he loves Ass related t-shirts, how else would you explain these:




Poor WWE thought they'd make a fortune from HLA, they didn't



At least they had the good sense to pull the true Sin Cara penis shirt before it went on sale, that really was the worst wrestling shirt ever.






Finally...The Rock had a terrible shirt





Monday, 3 October 2011

Bowties are cool?

David Otunga wears a bowtie now but are bowties cool? 
Take a look at some of WWE's more notable tie wearers and decide for yourself:



Otunga






Bob Backlund






Well Dunn




Ted Sr






The Fink






Any old school Referee




Rick "The Model" Martel






Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake






The Dicks






Big Dick Johnson


Ricardo Rodriguez




Harvey Wippleman


Friday, 9 September 2011

Double Dose Divas - Beth Phoenix

This series shows off the two of best photos of a WWE Diva, the idea isn't just to include the photos that show the most flesh but those that offer a glimpse of their characters.

Beth Phoenix pulls of the cavewomen look really well which makes sense as she's meant to be a glamorous Amazon (no not the website).
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Again this shows of her sculpted amazonian physique but also includes a hint of vulnerability.
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Wrestling With Vampires

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Wrestling has experimented with vampire gimmicks on a number of occasions but none of them have ever reached the main-event and they have all faded away (with the exception of Edge and Christian who dropped that part of their gimmick).

Poor Paul Heyman was laughed at when he suggested a vampire character for Kevin Thorn but it turned out that he was way ahead of the curve as vampires soon became a key part of popular culture thanks to the likes Twilight, True Blood and Being Human.

So is there room for supernatural characters outside of The Undertaker and Kane?
Probably if they’re done correctly however I don’t think that there will ever be a successful vampire character in mainstream wrestling for the following reasons:


Image Hosted by ImageShack.usBlood

The main problem is that WWE have banned the deliberate use of blood, it would be tough to get a vampire character over if you take away the main part of their mythology. Even if they’re allowed to use fake blood you still have the problem of an opponent accidently busting themselves open, in such a situation you either have a dedicated performer ignore the health risks and drink the blood or they look equally stupid by pretending that it never happened. Even in a normal situation they’re likely to be presented with prone prey at some point and the suspension of disbelief would be ruined if they didn’t take advantage of it. Maybe a vegan vampire portrayed by Daniel Bryan would work but otherwise a bloodless vampire is pretty pointless.


They Don’t Like The Sun
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Every now and again a wrestling event is held outside in the dazzling sunlight and that would cause a huge problem for any wrestling vampire, they'd either die, sparkle or be weakened to such a severe degree that even the Brooklyn Brawler could defeat them and those options don’t appeal to anybody but Steve Lombardi.
Even if they’re not booked to appear on such shows most wrestlers will be seen outside at some point even if it's just travelling to the show, it would take one hell of a dedicated performer to never be seen in daylight.

In order to keep kayfabe the poor wrestler portraying the vampire would have to be pale which would be a huge problem for notoriously tan addicted wrestlers, can you imagine an untanned Hulk Hogan? That said Sheamus could pull off the look easily and already seems to have super strength.





Image Hosted by ImageShack.usReligious Symbols
Vampires are repelled and/or weakened by religious symbols. Guys like HBK and Reverend D-Von have their entire characters revolve around religion, many others wear crucifixes (possibly made from deadly silver) and Colt Cabana often sports the Star of David.
Most importantly Rey Mysterio has a cross tattooed onto his body and any vampire is going to look silly running away from little Rey.





They Have To Be Invited In
Another kayfabe problem, everywhere the wrestler goes they’d have to wait for an invite before crossing the threshold.


They’re More Immortal Than Hulk Hogan 
Humans age, vampires do not, therefore a wrestler portraying a vampire would only have a window of a few years before people notice that they're getting older thus ruining the suspension of disbelief.


Super-Strength
A vampire should be near unstoppable due to their super strength, if they can't pick Mark Henry up with the greatest of ease they're in trouble.

Healing
There’s also the problem of healing, how do their opponents keep them down when they can shrug off any injury? Plus what happens when the poor guy portraying them gets injured for real, he can’t exactly be seen limping around on crutches.


Crossing Water
Wrestlers have to travel but vampires can’t cross flowing water so they wouldn't be able to go on any international tours.



Image Hosted by ImageShack.usGarlic
OK I’m running out of ideas but wrestling sure does like stereotypes so the introduction of a garlic eating Frenchman isn't completely out of the realms of possibility, surrendering to a French guy would be even worse for a vampire’s credibility than running from Rey Mysterio.


They Don’t Show Up On Film
Probably the biggest problem they face, although watching Santino wrestle an invisible opponent could be great entertainment it’s not going to work more than a couple of times.
The vampire wouldn’t be able to work for any company that sells DVDs or has a TV deal which would severely limit their career.

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Night Of Too Many Champions?

A common complaint about WWE is that their main-events are stale and that new people should be given a chance to be a world champion.

I can understand where this feeling comes from but WWE have 15 current or former world champions on their roster without counting the likes of Nash or the Rock.
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It could feasibly get to the point where everybody featured on a PPV or episode of Raw has been a world champion. This causes a major problem as it devalues the two world championships and makes people that have failed to win one look comparatively weak.
WWE have already got to the point where the the world championship (the big gold belt) is at the level that the IC title was before the attitude era, the holder of that belt is either the second most important wrestler in the company or are being tested to see if they are capable of winning the WWE title.

The list of world champions in full:

1. Alberto Del Rio
2. Big Show
3. CM Punk
4. Dolph Ziggler
5. Jack Swagger
6. John Cena
7. The Miz
8. Rey Mysterio
9. HHH
10. Christian
11. The Great Khali
12. Kane
13. Randy Orton
14. Sheamus
15. Undertaker

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Then there’s the following list of people that are still on TV or are occasionally involved in storylines.

1. Kevin Nash (until he actually wrestles then he'll be added to the main list)
2. The Rock
3. Vince McMahon
4. Booker T (unless he does more than commentate)
5. Jerry Lawler or any former world champion in another organisation
6. Any WWECW champion
7. Bret Hart
8. Steve Austin
9. Edge

So if you were a spin-doctor you could say that WWE have had 24 current or former world champions featured prominently on WWE TV over the past year and that doesn't include returning legends like Sgt Slaughter or the now retired HBK.