Double Dose Divas - Beth Phoenix

This series shows off the two of best photos of a WWE Diva, the idea isn't just to include the photos that show the most flesh but those that offer a glimpse of their characters.

Beth Phoenix pulls of the cavewomen look really well which makes sense as she's meant to be a glamorous Amazon (no not the website).


Again this shows of her sculpted amazonian physique but also includes a hint of vulnerability.

Wrestling With Vampires

Wrestling has experimented with vampire gimmicks on a number of occasions but none of them have ever reached the main-event and they have all faded away (with the exception of Edge and Christian who dropped that part of their gimmick).

Poor Paul Heyman was laughed at when he suggested a vampire character for Kevin Thorn but it turned out that he was way ahead of the curve as vampires soon became a key part of popular culture thanks to the likes Twilight, True Blood and Being Human.

So is there room for supernatural characters outside of The Undertaker and Kane?
Probably if they’re done correctly however I don’t think that there will ever be a successful vampire character in mainstream wrestling for the following reasons:


Blood

The main problem is that WWE have banned the deliberate use of blood, it would be tough to get a vampire character over if you take away the main part of their mythology. Even if they’re allowed to use fake blood you still have the problem of an opponent accidently busting themselves open, in such a situation you either have a dedicated performer ignore the health risks and drink the blood or they look equally stupid by pretending that it never happened. Even in a normal situation they’re likely to be presented with prone prey at some point and the suspension of disbelief would be ruined if they didn’t take advantage of it. Maybe a vegan vampire portrayed by Daniel Bryan would work but otherwise a bloodless vampire is pretty pointless.


They Don’t Like The Sun

Every now and again a wrestling event is held outside in the dazzling sunlight and that would cause a huge problem for any wrestling vampire, they'd either die, sparkle or be weakened to such a severe degree that even the Brooklyn Brawler could defeat them and those options don’t appeal to anybody but Steve Lombardi.
Even if they’re not booked to appear on such shows most wrestlers will be seen outside at some point even if it's just travelling to the show, it would take one hell of a dedicated performer to never be seen in daylight.

In order to keep kayfabe the poor wrestler portraying the vampire would have to be pale which would be a huge problem for notoriously tan addicted wrestlers, can you imagine an untanned Hulk Hogan? That said Sheamus could pull off the look easily and already seems to have super strength.





Religious Symbols
Vampires are repelled and/or weakened by religious symbols. Guys like HBK and Reverend D-Von have their entire characters revolve around religion, many others wear crucifixes (possibly made from deadly silver) and Colt Cabana often sports the Star of David.
Most importantly Rey Mysterio has a cross tattooed onto his body and any vampire is going to look silly running away from little Rey.





They Have To Be Invited In
Another kayfabe problem, everywhere the wrestler goes they’d have to wait for an invite before crossing the threshold.


They’re More Immortal Than Hulk Hogan 
Humans age, vampires do not, therefore a wrestler portraying a vampire would only have a window of a few years before people notice that they're getting older thus ruining the suspension of disbelief.


Super-Strength
A vampire should be near unstoppable due to their super strength, if they can't pick Mark Henry up with the greatest of ease they're in trouble.

Healing
There’s also the problem of healing, how do their opponents keep them down when they can shrug off any injury? Plus what happens when the poor guy portraying them gets injured for real, he can’t exactly be seen limping around on crutches.


Crossing Water
Wrestlers have to travel but vampires can’t cross flowing water so they wouldn't be able to go on any international tours.



Garlic
OK I’m running out of ideas but wrestling sure does like stereotypes so the introduction of a garlic eating Frenchman isn't completely out of the realms of possibility, surrendering to a French guy would be even worse for a vampire’s credibility than running from Rey Mysterio.


They Don’t Show Up On Film
Probably the biggest problem they face, although watching Santino wrestle an invisible opponent could be great entertainment it’s not going to work more than a couple of times.
The vampire wouldn’t be able to work for any company that sells DVDs or has a TV deal which would severely limit their career.

Night Of Too Many Champions?

A common complaint about WWE is that their main-events are stale and that new people should be given a chance to be a world champion.

I can understand where this feeling comes from but WWE have 15 current or former world champions on their roster without counting the likes of Nash or the Rock.

It could feasibly get to the point where everybody featured on a PPV or episode of Raw has been a world champion. This causes a major problem as it devalues the two world championships and makes people that have failed to win one look comparatively weak.
WWE have already got to the point where the the world championship (the big gold belt) is at the level that the IC title was before the attitude era, the holder of that belt is either the second most important wrestler in the company or are being tested to see if they are capable of winning the WWE title.

The list of world champions in full:

1. Alberto Del Rio
2. Big Show
3. CM Punk
4. Dolph Ziggler
5. Jack Swagger
6. John Cena
7. The Miz
8. Rey Mysterio
9. HHH
10. Christian
11. The Great Khali
12. Kane
13. Randy Orton
14. Sheamus
15. Undertaker



Then there’s the following list of people that are still on TV or are occasionally involved in storylines.

1. Kevin Nash (until he actually wrestles then he'll be added to the main list)
2. The Rock
3. Vince McMahon
4. Booker T (unless he does more than commentate)
5. Jerry Lawler or any former world champion in another organisation
6. Any WWECW champion
7. Bret Hart
8. Steve Austin
9. Edge

So if you were a spin-doctor you could say that WWE have had 24 current or former world champions featured prominently on WWE TV over the past year and that doesn't include returning legends like Sgt Slaughter or the now retired HBK.

Vince McMahon - The Great Dictator?

Many people accuse Vince McMahon of being out of touch and behind the times but I think he is stuck in 1984.
Not so much the year but the book, it's almost as if Vince has adopted many of the tactics that "The Party" used to create his own totalitarian dictatorship.
Don't believe me? Then read on to see the similarities in tactics:


Who controls the past controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.

“The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.”

Vince understands this better than anybody else in the industry so he wisely purchased as many tape libraries as he could get a hold of, this will likely continue when any major company goes out of business (ie Roh or TNA).

This also allows him to create any legend he wants, he can underplay Hulk Hogan and Bruno Sammartino's contribution to his company while making the Rock seem like the biggest star of all time to help sell his Wrestlemania match with John Cena. He's also pretended that that HHH and The Undertaker had never met at Wrestlemania and claimed that Snitsky was undefeated.




Unperson
Vince therefore has the power to make many former stars an "Unperson" by erasing them from history, the most obvious example of this is removing all references to Chris Benoit.

Merely mentioning such people's name is considered a thoughtcrime and won't be tolerated by WWE, that's why there was genuine shock when CM Punk mentioned Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman on air.








Create an external threat/Perpetual War

In 1984 the world is in a state of perpetual war, these external threats make people more loyal to the party and also makes them accept a lower standard of living.


Vinve realised this is another valuable tactic, by using WCW, the PTC (RTC), the brand-split, the NWO or Nexus as an external threat he is able to make customers loyal to WWE and make them forgive any issues with his programming.



Newspeak
“Beautiful thing, the destruction of words. ”

Newspeak is based on English but has a greatly reduced vocabulary. The Party aims to make any alternative thinking impossible by removing any words or possible constructs which describe such ideas ideas of freedom, rebellion and so on.
Vince realises that this is a valuable tactic and has set about creating a list of approved WWE words.

One of the first things to go was the commentators calling the names of moves, people can't say they preferred it when there were more t-bone suplexes or texas colverleafs if they don't know what they're called. As a result commentators now just tell the story and bicker amongst themselves, when they have to comment on the in-ring action they use terms like "modified slam/submission/suplex" or Vince's old favourite "What a maneuver!".

He also likes replaces industry staples with his own versions, so wrestling becomes sports entertainment, the crowd/fans become the "WWE universe and championships can't be refered to as belts.

Turning Children against their parents
The Party has a Hitler youth style movement that attempts to break the bond between parent and child, maybe WWE are trying the first stages of this with John Cena, just listen as the kids chant "Let's go Cena" and the adults respond with "Cena Sucks". OK that one is stretching it a bit.

Ministry of Darkness Love

This is where the party torture, brainwash and re-educate anybody that opposes their doctrine.
WWE don't have an exact replica of this but do like to send new superstars to FCW to be re-educated in the WWE style. They also tend to dislike outsiders and rarely fully get behind somebody that was made famous by another organisation (see the invasion). They also torture outsiders and dissidents with bad gimmicks, losing streaks or by making them look stupid.